Salam. To start with you must have at least a baby that grows into a boy/girl and sooner s/he turns into an adult.

I am blessed by Allah The Main Creator of all creations - have 6 children by the age of 37. The eldest is now undergoing his masters degree in UTM with USM scholarship effective July 2010. The next is a petronas engineer, next is my sarah teaching mathematics in SMV Bukit Minyak Butterworth , next my favourite daughter AA teaching practicals TESL in Kota bHaru now , the next come E-in doing his medic matrics in UIA and the last doing PMR this coming Sept/Oct 2010. Their mum is also studying arabic and likes to read Al Quran all the time. She confessed that she is getting older and older all the time. Based on this feeling she like to watch hindustani films which is mostly sad stories. If I stay with her in front of the tube, I will surely sleep. It is so boring to watch sad sad sad stories. Their dad? I cannot think like my mem because I feel very young every day because my stdents are always 18 plus at diploma IT courses every July in evey year. I like to feel young because by feeling so I can impart good effective instructions to my students. Aghh forget about that …lets get to my main point. To be an effective and good parent I have instilled in my children few important points:

(i) strict discipline. I used to ‘rotan’ (beating) my eldest boy very very very hard because he threw his sister’s shoes on top of the roof. Rumah Kerajaan di Jalan Telipot. So of course he cried like hell and his mum just could not do anything. Luckily there was no METRO paper that time. If there was, Menteri Dato Shahrizat would be chasing after me.

(ii) i meant what I mean : I used to leave my children at home if they are late getting into the car (Toyota Corrolla KE70). If they did not get in by 0700 am of course I left them although it was their first paper in the final examination at school. So after that incident, they were very punctual with getting bath, doing subuh and taking breakfast

(iii) i spent my most money on education. I did not mind going broke in buying good books even though the books had to come from abroad. After buying the books I like to read them with my children at their beds. I would try very hard to Explain the diagrams and pictures from the books.

(iv) i spent my maximum time teaching my own children in all subjects like mathematics and english. I drew many pictures and from those pictures I made up many stories using new words and ..of course they learnt English very fast that way. I tested them spelling. And sometuimes I asked Angah to go to the white board and spell the word ‘menstruation’. With the word I explain basic biology to my children even though they were still very young at that time.

(v) in the car during our short journey to school, we read Quran from the last 10 surahs. We read that every day. By doing so, this soften the heart of my children. In the mean time, I talk good about day to day life as a good and intelligent muslim every where we are and in all circumstances. Poor or rich.

(vi) i like to play football with my boy. He learnt the skills in kicking the ball very fast since the coach (their dad) was a district football player in Besut, first eleven at Nottingam Malaysian Society and 1st seven in futsal in Leeds Universiti Dept of Computer Science. I taught them all the arts of dribbling, tackling and free swerving free kicks like the Brazilian Rinaldo 1970s.

(vi) lastly I always make it a point to go for the dusk and dawn prayers in the masjids with my boys Sobirin and Solihin. Our favourite masjid was Masjid Kampung Sireh. Here we can see many poor trishaw pullers and Kpg Sireh flat dwellers. I did not like goingto Telipot mosque becuase there there were too many pensioners who were once working as big shots in KL, JB and many more. I did not want my children to mix with well to do people. I wanted them to know how lucky they were growing in a modern educated family who were once a poor kid himself. By obseving these steps I raised my family of 8.

(vii) I also visited my old parents every Friday and Saturday evenings. I enjoyed seeing the smiles of my das and mums face while they were playing with their grand children. We brought friend banana, fruits and juices. This instill the love of my children towards their grand parents. It was a must for me to obey my late dad’s wish at all circumstances what come may. Tsunami or blizards.

Thats it. As simple as ABC. I did not like to send my children to any motivators especially summer camps because I did not believe with mountain climbing programme during the rainy season. More over it was very expensive for me. Since i am the only one working I have to do many things my self to cut down expenses. Examples of spending thriftyly was : my boys and girs have to share most things together especially their books, food and clothing. Their mum is a good cook western, cepati, nan , kelantanese food and sumatran dishes. As a result I always make it a point to invite my poor students to enjoy ramadhan food at our homes. At this point I always appreciate my wifes willingness to cook the food for the guests. I told her “..if you provide food for the others then Allah will provide you with better food in the heavens..insyallah”. Thats it .. Hope you readers can get some tips there. There is actually no short cuts. From hardship we can instill good virtues among our new generations.

TQ. wasallam.

Original link: https://nenez9595.blogspot.com/2010/07/tips-being-good-effective-parents.html